Thelen-Heidel recounts a childhood shaped by her mother’s destructive decisions in this debut memoir.  

Bridey moved a lot as a kid; by the time she graduated high school, she had attended 22 schools. The reason was  her mother’s poor judgment concerning men—poor when it came to choosing them, poor when it came to keeping them, and poor when it came to keeping Bridey safe from them. From a silver school bus in Juneau, Alaska, to a motel in South  Lake Tahoe, California, and many points in between, the moves frequently came without warning or explanation, leaving  the author adrift and lonely as her relationships with friends, relatives, father figures, and even her dog—with anyone, in fact, besides her mother, the drug-using, party-loving Frankie—were abruptly and unceremoniously severed. Often left to figure out the ways of the world on her own (and to defend herself from the occasionally predatory behavior of her mom’s boyfriends), Bridey was forced to grow up quickly, doing her best to protect herself and, eventually, her younger sister,  Bephens. 

Eventually, the author came to realize that her mother’s decisions could cost the smart, ambitious Bridey her  shot at the life she wanted—and that Frankie was not simply the person who kept letting monsters into their lives but was, perhaps, a monster herself. 

Thelen-Heidel’s prose possesses both a charming warmth and a lyrical eye for the world  around her. Here she describes seeing one of the many houses she and Frankie lived in for the first time: “A gust of wind  slaps sticks and small rocks against the mud stained in patterns on the stucco—some darker and some light— reminding  me of the patterns of bruises we’ve tried to heal—some deep and some old. All stained.” It’s a difficult read in many ways,  but the young Bridey is such an irrepressible protagonist that it’s easy for the reader to find inspiration amid the squalor  and heartache.  

A deftly rendered portrait of a tragically toxic mother-daughter relationship 

Born in the early 1970s, five-year-old Bridey enjoyed a relatively peaceful life until she didn’t. Bridey’s mom told her the man she always knew as her father was not her parent. Her mom moved her from one city to another and changed schools more times than she bought new clothes. Frankie (Bridey’s mom) also had countless live-in boyfriends who were dangerous and irresponsible. Bridey witnessed various forms of abuse toward her mom and served as a protector. She also suffered abuse from her mom and boyfriends while dealing with the trauma that followed until she got into a private college. Life was beautiful for a while until Frankie called again. 

Will Bridey ever be free from her mother’s manipulation? 

Find out in Bright Eyes: Surviving Our Monsters And Learning to Live Without Them, a memoir by Bridey Thelen-Heidel.

Bright Eyes by Bridey Thelen-Heidel is a memoir that every parent and anyone responsible for children must read. However, survivors might be triggered by the abuse and violence mentioned in this book. The themes include violence, abuse, trauma, parental neglect, trauma bonding, and survival. 

Bridey’s story moved me deeply. I want to celebrate the author’s strength, resilience, patience, kindness, and focus. I understand how difficult it can be to walk away from a parent, especially as a minor. Bridey cannot be blamed for always taking the bait because she grew up in chaos and didn’t understand the concept of order and calmness. However, she jumped through the hoops life threw at her and rose to greatness. Mac and everyone who gave Bridey a chance and something to grasp have my respect. 

Thank you for documenting this shocking and frightening experience, Bridey. Life can only get better.