Mila Torres is a successful divorce lawyer by day, stand-up comedian by night and by all accounts--except her mother's--living a bisexual elder millennial's dream life in Washington, DC. That is until she realizes she's only a year away from hitting the ripe old age of thirty-five and her doctor suggests at her annual pap smear that maybe she should consider freezing her eggs if she wants kids in the future. Except, she doesn't want a child in the far future...she wants a child right now. This poses a bit of a problem since she's ten swipes past single and living Golden Girls style with two of her best friends who work on Capitol Hill and one ornery old cat. That is, until she hears a story from a friend about a free sperm bank online app called Baby Bank. A few margaritas later and Mila has swiped on over fifty sperm donors until she finds the perfect match--handsome, successful, brilliant, everything you'd want your sperm to be. Now she's meeting him at a hotel--along with two of her best friends for back up--to complete the process. All should have gone smoothly, except when she learns that her sperm donor is the brother of the reporter that Mila has been dodging for months, and that while she originally only wanted this man's baby, she actually wants his sister, too. In a comedic story of LGBTQIA+ romance and millennial specific drama, Mila finds that motherhood and dating are not compatible when you keep it all in the family and that the modern elder millennial maybe can't have it all.