The surprise is not that things get crazier from there, including that “kaleidoscopic” demon orgy that Cooper describes as “a spectacle of biblical insults,” or the messages on a chalkboard seeming to tally up the score in some game between “Hell” and “Paradise,” or the series of bizarre new discoveries in the cellar, including satanic statuary, or a chat with a corpse about the splendor of Versailles. Instead, the surprise is that neither Kevin, Jane, nor the comic pair of workers (including the Black chef given ill-advised dialogue like “You didn't speak no rule ‘bout no motorcycles allowed, boss”) seem especially shaken by any of this. About halfway through this hefty book—in which he’s already beheld long-dead relatives and a mad ape attack—Kevin at last notes “The ‘Fun-House of Horrors’ was losing its fun-ness, which left only the horrors.”

Kevin’s incuriosity and lack of urgency make much of the novel feel aimless outside eruptions of comic-horror. Some mysteries entice—what’s with the statue of Joseph Smith?—and Cooper springs some smart jolts, like the fate of a cell phone used to document the weirdness. The pace picks up with the arrival of an old friend, links to Kevin’s family and an ancient knife, all building to an unsettling and quite inventive cliffhanger climax.

Takeaway: Epic haunted house novel of bizarre scares, discoveries, and comedy.

Comparable Titles: Garth Marenghi, Jeff Strand.

Production grades
Cover: B+
Design and typography: A-
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: B
Marketing copy: A-