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Jacobson’s debut is an elegant, engaging account of her life as a wife and mother facing a harrowing marriage, then as a single parent and eventual successful business executive. . .
Jacobson’s excellent storytelling skills make the memoir riveting. She plunges us straight into the heart of things right from the beginning and is able to maintain this steady pace through the book. At the same time, the narrative is thoughtful and reflective when the story demands. . . an absorbing and rewarding read.
Marsha Jacobson’s existence has definitely never been a bed of roses. When she was young, her painful lack of self-confidence due to a weight problem led her into a marriage with an abusive, overpowering man, who harassed her for years by taking her to court after she broke free of him. She raised two daughters, put herself through Harvard business school and gradually built a successful career while battling serious health problems. She fell deeply in love and married a second time but did not find lasting happiness….What’s refreshingly different about this memoir, however, is that Jacobson, rather than dwelling upon how much she suffered, gives us the facts rather briskly and then goes on to write about what interests her far more—the resourceful and courageous ways she coped with one crisis after another. The result is fascinating and compelling reading.
A successful business owner shares her stories of love, loss, and survival in this debut memoir.
Born “in the whoosh of baby boomers” in a Lafayette, Indiana hospital whose wards were “named with Bible references,” Jacobson spent her life breaking glass ceilings all over the globe as a successful business executive and management consultant. After moving up the corporate ladder in Tokyo, Jacobson returned to the U.S. to become the vice president of operations at Fidelity Investments. While she does chart her career’s trajectory, work takes a backseat in this deeply personal memoir, which focuses on the lasting impacts of abusive relationships. The book begins with Jacobson’s recollection of the summer before she entered sixth grade, with her mother frantically moving her children out of their New Jersey home to return to Indiana while her father was at work. This destabilizing, abrupt move not only severed the author’s relationship with her father and paternal grandmother, but also set the stage for the rest of the memoir. The spontaneity that initially sparked her attraction to her first husband, for instance, developed into an explosive volatility. Her second marriage was damaged by her husband’s PTSD, which was untreated. This frank depiction of ruined family ties and childhood trauma offers cleareyed insights into the human psyche and addresses why so many people find it hard to leave abusive relationships. Given Jacobson’s background as a business leader, her decision to write her memoir is particularly courageous. The author’s candor may be useful to readers looking to learn from Jacobson’s experiences and start making better decisions for themselves. Its inclusion of small group discussion questions (centered on decisions the author made inside her relationships) reflects the book’s emphasis on encouraging other women to think deeply about their own choices in finding or keeping a partner.
An affecting, personal exploration of toxic relationships.
The Wrong Calamity: A Memoir opens with Marsha Jacobson's birth "in the whoosh of baby boomers" in Indiana and then reveals her life with an abusive husband. It deftly answers the question of why intelligent women marry into such a situation, much less stay in it—and perhaps seldom in the literature is the answer so clear. Jacobson saw no other opportunities, and no way out. The irony lies in the fact that, more than many other women in her position, Jacobson fell into a form of business success that theoretically gave her numerous resources and alternative options. As she became more successful, however, her husband became more abusive. Only when she returned to familiar territory, leaving her sojourn in Japan for America, was she able to flee, two toddlers in tow, into a better life.
Also more vividly portrayed than most stories of abuse and freedom are the slow-simmering revelations Jacobson experienced as her relationship with Peter evolved. From his quick temper and jealousy to how she changed from a woman who gave her husband complete charge of their honeymoon plans to one who came to question her very presence in his life, the progressive realizations are nicely presented and compellingly written. Jacobson's ability to delineate the transformations, realizations, and influences that led her to revise her life and future will prove inspirational to other women facing the same situation. She documents an evolutionary growth that deserves equal discussion in psychology and book reading groups for its specific insights and realizations.
The impact of her progressive determination and contributions to the relationship is hard-hitting and eye-opening: "I wasn’t the same person who’d given him carte blanche over our honeymoon. Not that he didn’t plan good trips, but I worked hard, and free time was a luxury. I wanted a say in how to spend it. 'Then this is the last vacation we’ll take,' he said, and it was." From her re-entry into dating and the snafus that led to new realizations about those she chose and her moral and ethical foundations to business and personal growth choices, Jacobson creates a powerful story of calamity, discovery, and change. This will serve as an inspiration (and road map) to other women facing similar conundrums. Libraries and readers seeking stories of not just escape from abuse, but considerations of the financial, psychology, and social influences on their evolution, will find The Wrong Calamity enlightening, revealing, and hard to put down.
The Wrong Calamity: A Memoir” by Marsha Jacobson is a stirring and motivating autobiography full of honesty and heart. It’s the life story of a woman who found herself following deep pain and loss. Issues such as neglect, domestic abuse, eating disorders, and being a single parent were the matters she lived and dealt with. At times the trauma was so big she didn’t know what to do with it, and it seemed to seep out into other areas of her life. But she is living proof that beginning in calamity doesn’t mean you have to stay there or end up in it. You can overcome, and this is what this autobiography is all about. Marsha was a vulnerable freshman in need of self-esteem when she met a guy at college with control issues. She decided to marry him because she was too scared to object, and they moved to Japan, where she worked at Mattel Toys. But her husband became more abusive as her success began to grow. Once back in America, she is caught up in a dramatic police chase that ends with her and her two young children escaping. She then pursues an MBA at Harvard while at the same time raising her daughters and trying to dodge and defend herself from her ex-husband, who seems out for revenge. She marries someone else, but his dark secrets come to life and destroy her relationships, illusions, and career. Jacobson writes with honesty and emotion, which will bring readers a sense that they aren’t alone, that if others can escape the pain, so can they. The author writes with a good balance of pain and recovery, and that is one of the life lessons she offers here: you can recover from devastating events in your life. As you read, you will begin to see why she found herself in the calamities that she did, and she isn’t the only one. Many women, and men, find themselves in situations that they don’t fully grasp, and due to past trauma, don’t have the will or means to prevent it until it’s perhaps too late. But there is a silver lining in her cloud, and basically, this memoir can be your silver lining if you’ve wound up in a similar situation and don’t know what to do or how to feel. You can improve your sense of self-worth and confidence. There is a lot of wisdom woven through this book, along with some wry wit. I love that she describes how she downplayed the warning signs that were right in front of her, as so many people do. And I love her success story, which is a beacon for anyone. If you are looking for a remarkable life journey that offers inspiration and insight, “The Wrong Calamity: A Memoir” by Marsha Jacobson, should be at the top of your reading list.
“Marsha Jacobson's THE WRONG CALAMITY is a courageously written story of a courageously lived life. She takes us inside unexpected stress and pain to renewed hope with humane clarity.
