In This is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods: A Practical Guide for Healing Past Intergenerational Stress and Trauma, Ernest Ellender delves into the profound impact of childhood experiences on our adult lives. It’s a well-established notion that early childhood shapes our character and drives us through life. However, the journey is rarely without its challenges, and many of us carry the weight of childhood trauma into adulthood. Ellender’s book offers an insightful exploration of this trauma, particularly transgenerational trauma, and provides practical examples for beginning the healing journey.
Ellender emphasizes that transgenerational trauma doesn’t always stem from violence or horrific events; rather, it often arises from dysfunctional family dynamics that persist through generations. He asserts that now is the time to heal and grow from these inherited mistakes. The book is structured around 20 key points, or “rules,” designed to help readers overcome childhood trauma and live free from behaviors learned as self-protection mechanisms in childhood. One of the most compelling concepts in the book is the idea that “We must slow down to speed up.” This rule centers on the necessity of introspection. In our fast-paced lives, trauma doesn’t simply disappear; it requires deliberate and sustained effort to address and heal. To become stronger individuals, both for ourselves and those around us, we must take the time to engage in thorough self-work, allowing us to heal from our wounded pasts.
What sets Ellender’s work apart is its accessibility. Despite his academic background, the book is written in a relatable and comprehensible tone. It feels like a conversation with a trusted friend or a therapy session, making it easy for readers to connect with and learn from the material.
As someone with a background in psychology, I cannot overstate the importance of this book. Ellender’s career and expertise have culminated in a work that is invaluable for professionals in the psychology and mental health fields, as well as anyone struggling with past trauma or simply curious to learn more about the healing process. This is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods is a must-read for anyone on the journey to self-discovery and healing.
While I fully intended to stick with this project long enough to produce an award-winning book, the arrival of its first awards has been a massively relieving and validating experience after 8 years of writing, researching, editing, more writing and editing, formatting, more research, and finally publishing... only to find that now I have to learn book-marketing! Still, now that it's finally here, it sure feels great to read "award-winning author Ernest Ellender, PhD"!!!
There are two extremes of how anyone can self-publish: First, nowadays you can get ChatGTP to crank out a book in about one hour, and then you can create an Amazon bookstore account in about 15 minutes, and then self-publish! In one day, you can become a self-published author.
I took the other extreme approach, which was to apply all of my perfectionism, OCD traits, and professionalism to the entire process of writing my book... which took 8 years instead of one day! The first few years were spent doing a lot of experimentation and research (regarding the book's curriculum) while collaborating with my clients. Next came a few years of writing the first draft, which ended up being over 500 pages... only to eventually find an awesome editor, Susanne Schotanus, who informed me that I would need to cut that in half if I planned on people actually buying it.
Editing took almost two years, but a full year of it was wasted on an editor and a proofreader who both did more damage than good! Once I found the developmental editor I needed in Susanne, we were able to thoroughly edit the book admirably (arranging chapters in proper order, trimming excess, adding clarifications, etc.). Next, I worked closely with line-editor & proofreader Rowan Eiler, and together we polished the hell out that book!
To read the rest of this article that discusses the costs involved with creating this (award-winning) book, click the link below...
