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Shobha Nihalani
Author
Self-Esteem in a Selfie World
Do you spend most of your time thinking about all the things you've done wrong and all the ways you need to fix yourself? Do you lean towards self-loathing when you make a mistake? Do you people-please to stay ahead of the competition? Do you compare yourself with others? What is it that we are seeking in all our restlessness to do more and be more? Without a doubt, it is to be loved, accepted, respected, rewarded and valued. If that's not what we get from our environment, and ourselves, we feel depleted and drained and then we doubt our core worth. In this truly inspirational reveal you will discover how important and urgent it is to value yourself, to respect your unique qualities, and to accept imperfections. You will learn from the experiences of people from all walks of life. Many have been through moments when their self-esteem was crushed. Yet, they coped and survived in a world of competitiveness, bullying, discrimination, imposter syndrome, and peer pressure. With social media in the mix, there is more pressure to do more and be more. Through exclusive interviews with psychology experts, executive coaches, professors, and the latest research, this book shares how our hypercompetitive society affects us and how we can make the choice to rise above the 'not good enough' feelings and align with our true selves.
Reviews
Noting how contemporary life can turn “the self-assured into self-doubter,” Nihalani (author of Whispers of Worth) delves deep into the centuries-old question of what self-esteem is, how this “deepest sense of who we are” is formed, and how to nurture growth and in some cases survival. “The only way to build self-worth is through our actions,” Nihalani argues, making the case through vignettes of people who succeeded or were able to overcome self-doubt and blows to their sense of self, whether cultural, professional, or social. Nihalani centers Indian culture in her examples, analysis, and practical guidance. Along with selfie culture, imposter syndrome, and other hot-button topics, Nihalani explores the impact of the caste system, the tradition of respect for elders seen as faultless, and a work culture where “bosses are treated with a kind of reverence”—so much so that even an erroneous criticism from a boss can “can undermine our sense of self.”

Nihalani pulls from various research and well documents her resources at the end of each chapter, to explore how lack of self-esteem makes individuals vulnerable to the judgments of others, especially in the era of social media. People tend only to post the best parts of their lives, Nihalani notes, which can lead others to see their own existence as inadequate. She explores bullying and micro-aggressions, the impact of fashion on one’s perceived value, and the sharp distinctions between how success is measured for women versus men.

With an inviting tone, incisive insights, and a wealth of practical takeaways and hard-won advice, Nihalani encourages accepting one’s flaws and imperfections and not running from bad feelings but not dwelling on them, either—feel them and move on, she advises. Other choice suggestions: use the cognitive dissonance that occurs when behavior does not match beliefs as a motivator for change, and that self-managing time spent on social media helps recalibrate how people see themselves in reality.

Takeaway: Encouraging guide to nurturing healthy self-esteem in the social-media age.

Comparable Titles: Kim Dabbs’s You Belong Here, Corey Keyes’s Languishing.

Production grades
Cover: A
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A
Marketing copy: A

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